To write again ...

... have my questions answered today, my heart put at ease or broken. I hate not knowing. I hate guessing, hate not having control. I hate being in a situation where another person has no accountability whatsoever, for my feelings, but has my heart.
I want my heart back - my feelings undone. I want to live recklessly again, to yearn for the arms of a near-stranger. I want to forgive and take back, take in. I want to love each one of them. I want to be completely open and uninhibited. I want to scream and not worry about the neighbors hearing me. I want to get angry and not worry about an entire household finding out. I want to go back a few years and gain that perspective again. I want to be alone. I want to be without. I want to be with. I want to.. ...